It seems like the end of one year and the start of a new one is an invitation for “Top 10” lists.
There are top 10 news stories of the year, top 10 films, top 10 vacation spots and top 10 restaurants, to name but a few.
One late December morning when the thermometer read 4 degrees (which not coincidentally corresponded closely with the first day of winter), I started thinking about what would be on my top 10 list of winter woes.
No. 10: I’ve already written at some length recently about frozen water troughs, which surely rank in my top 10. Here — in no particular order — are my remaining nine wintertime pet peeves.
No. 9: I’m annoyed by all the layers of clothing needed to be comfortable around the farm during winter. Actually, it’s not the layers themselves I object to — I have no shortage of long johns, fleece-lined leggings, insulated socks, hooded sweatshirts, long-sleeved turtlenecks, insulated coveralls, waterproof parkas, rubberized gloves, knit caps and all-weather boots. My real problem is with how long it takes to get suited up in all this attire before going outside, as well as reversing the process to return to the house. I estimate losing a half hour per day just in wintertime clothing changes.
No. 8: Wintertime seems to have more than its share of gray, gloomy days. On our numerous cloudy winter days, there’s no sun to counteract any chilly breezes. Too many gray, gloomy days eventually start to take their toll on one’s frame of mind. I’m a believer that seasonal affective disorder (appropriately known by the acronym, SAD) is an actual condition, but I don’t want to cure it by sitting in an ultraviolet “light box.” I want some real sun, please!
No. 7: Knit gloves with holes in the fingers are a pain — they’re too good to throw away, but not good enough to keep your hands warm. Waterproof gloves can also be a bother when invisible pin holes, cracks or obviously worn-away waterproofing are no longer getting their job done. After a little water seeps inside, it’s like having your hand in an ice bucket for the rest of your chores.
No. 6: First cousin to gloves with holes is socks with holes. Holes in the toe can feel like a tourniquet has been applied and your poor exposed toe is being strangled. Tucking the hole under or wearing it on the other foot rarely works; mending or the wastebasket are the most workable fixes. Socks with holes worn through their heel and/or sole are less annoying; however, having that exposed part of your foot in direct contact with the inside of your boot usually requires a trip to the rag bag for the defective sock.
No. 5: Have you ever heard the term proboscis? It’s a fancy word for another winter trouble-maker — the nose. In cold weather, my nose has two modes. When I lay my head on the pillow at night, I fall asleep fine, but sometimes wake up from a bad dream about being smothered; fortunately, it’s only my stuffy nose. Even more reliably, when I get outside in the cold air, my nose starts to run. It’s hard to blow your nose while wearing gloves, plus if I have a tissue with me, it’s usually under several layers covering the pocket of my jeans. Blowing one’s nose can only be postponed for so long before taking extreme measures — like taking a quick swipe at your nose with the cuff of your glove. Not very ladylike, but eventually necessary.
No. 4: Occasionally, a lawn tractor is unexpectedly needed in the cold weather. In early December, we discovered our puppy Meggie had a taste for dried leaves, so I used a riding mower to blow them outside the lawn fence. Alas, cold temperatures and over a month of disuse had taken their toll and the lawn tractor was a nonstarter. Fortunately, I pushed it from the chilly barn into warm sunshine on the forebay. Fifteen minutes later, it started right up. I was careful not to repark it in front of the snowblower.
No. 3: Freshly fallen snow is pretty but not as innocent as it looks. Add some wind and even a little drifting, and snow can cause big problems. It’s bad enough clearing a sidewalk, lane or farmstead once, but having to put snow clearance on instant replay is no fun at all. Ditto for drifted roadways and mailboxes, which limit travel or result in undelivered mail.
No. 2: Ice is another whole subject. When sleet and freezing rain cause icy conditions, accidents are bound to happen. Perhaps most dangerous are roads and walkways that look wet but have actually frozen into “black ice.” A further danger is hidden ice that has become snow-covered. We use pelletized lime to add traction to icy surfaces. Carefully walking flat-footed is another good idea, as is slowing down when driving a vehicle on roads that might be icy.
No. 1: Lastly, I’m no fan of frosty barn boots. I keep mine underneath a porch bench just outside the kitchen door. Leaving my “house shoes” in the kitchen, I step right into my barn boots on the porch. I expect them to be cold, but if snow has drifted into them unseen overnight, what a rude awakening.
What do I like about winter? It’s only 88 days away from spring!
